I am the grandmother of my clique: giving “I know how you feel” advice, listening to their rants, giving my shoulder for them to cry on, etc. But I also give dating advice. The ironic part? In the looooooong sixteen-going-on-seventeen years I’ve breathed and roamed on this Earth, I have never had a boyfriend. Dating in high school is supposed to be the norm, but that’s not the case for me. While I may be caught up in studies and all, it’s not like boys approach me either.
The original reason why I lost weight was because I wanted to be happy. Even though losing weight helped me immensely with my well-being, I felt as if something was missing in my life, which was appeal to guys. Then I lost even more to look desirable. Once I saw that number on the scale I cheered to myself and anticipated the flocks of boys that would bow down at my feet to get me. Likewise for this point, that moment never happened. Most guys I encounter to this day don’t show any interest in me or talk to me unless I approach them first. I don’t even have any male friends! But I have two theories behind this and I hope it makes sense to you.
First of all, I don’t think a normal boy would like a girl who generally eats tons of salads, spends a lot of time at the gym and never walks into an ice cream shop without getting nauseous. My kale breath and my love for doing push-ups and HIIT exercise are major turnoffs. Boys don’t want a girl like that–they want someone they can lounge and eat pizza and donuts with. This is the case at least in my experience. I probably don’t have enough gym rats in my social circle!
Secondly–and this is the theory I believe is the biggest reason why I’m still single is that boys don’t seem to show interest in wanting to be my boyfriend because they feel as if I am intimidating, or I don’t want or am not interested in a partner. The day I hit my goal weight was the same day I gained all the confidence I needed to become a new girl. My confidence apparently didn’t attract boys; it’s possible I am admired or whatever, but they don’t necessarily want to date me. In all, I don’t care!
Dating should not be a priority. If you constantly think about dating and finding a guy, it shows that you’re unhappy with yourself and you need someone to love you and tell you you’re beautiful. I have friends with this issue and I practically claw in their minds to get them to understand that they’re much more than a simple “girlfriend”. I no longer paid any regards to wanting a boyfriend or talking to guys because I didn’t need someone else to tell me I am valuable. For you single ladies out there, you don’t need one either. You are in control of how you view yourself: you can either embrace who you are or feel like shit. If you relate to the latter it is your job to improve your self-esteem. Do what you love, develop a skill, or reflect your lifestyle.
I am not hating on those of you who have partners or are married. If you found someone who loves you for who you are and embraces every single imperfection, curve and line of you, that is amazing. Finding a true, loving relationship is so difficult because others are so complicated that flaws often get in the way of their strengths. When you meet someone and fall in love with him, and devote your time and energy into your relationship, that shows a type of dedication I don’t think I can ever achieve. The thought of giving part of your life to someone actually frightens me. But I might be totally bonkers and know nothing about relationships. I’m just a kid, after all.
For every day I embrace my Miss Independent status there comes a day I absolutely hate it. Unfortunately for me there’s not a lot I can do to change it. But in the big picture, being single is one of the greatest gifts I have for myself. Because being single reveals you don’t need a man to tell you who you are and how valuable you are. You already know it 😉
Remember you’re amazing,
P.S. Even though I don’t scout for boyfriends, I do like to check out guys wherever I go: at school, in the city, and especially at the gym! Wouldn’t it be awesome to find someone you can lift with??
Not gonna lie, when I went to IDEA last year that’s what I did all day…
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