superfitbabe

Having the privilege to say “no” to anything is really valuable. It’s a way to establish a boundary if you’re being hurt or if you need to wait for something potentially more suitable for you. However, being on the receiving end of said “no” can sting. In fact, for a lot of people, it usually does. Since my childhood, I’ve been rejected by almost everyone and everything I could remember, whether they were from friend group and lead roles in theater, and then into my early adulthood, academic programs, relationships, and job opportunities. It conditioned me to be more selective of where I channel my time and energy where I always assumed the worst to come.

Granted, not receiving all that you desire is normal, but we often misconstrue rejection as others not seeing our worth. Because of all the rejections I experienced, I habitually anticipated it even if my qualifications were a perfect fit. Low and behold, many times, my expectations came true. I will be the first to acknowledge that leading with the expectation of being rejected has been the worst hindrance I could ever impose on myself.

People have cited rejection as redirection where you may actually be protected from something dangerous or guided to something better. For the vast majority of the times, I’ve discovered this to be true (at least eventually). For instance, many companies that turned my application down led me to work at Beyond Meat for a year–Beyond Meat, the company I have always dreamed of contributing to! I won’t go into why I chose to leave my position, but I’m still so grateful and forever indebted to everyone I’ve worked with and the brand for helping me with my head-start in the best way possible. Another example (eye-rolls incoming) encompass the boys that bullied me in my childhood after they found out I had a crush on them. Now I can only imagine how much time I’d waste on them because they weren’t mature enough to match my energy.

Still, to this day, I go about my life as if rejection surrounds me like a fog. My goal is to clear the skies and see all the wondrous possibilities around me. That starts with being as unapologetically myself and the most respectful to me, my wants, and my needs. Then come the other action items:

• No more chasing
• No more conformity
• No more collapsing
• No more settling for less
• Begin to believe
• Begin to dream
• Begin to be grateful
• Begin to leave with light and love

I’ve done all of the action items above before (and definitely some are more ideal than others)–but for this summer and for the rest of my life, let’s neutralize rejection. As a matter of fact, in some cases, we can celebrate it. Rejection is celebrated when you can scream “THANK GOD!” after being turned down by something or someone that could have done much worse for you. Alternatively, you may have something or someone that truly is perfect for you later on. Once more: “THANK GOD!”

Additionally, there’s a fine line between “good enough” and “settling for less”. “Good enough” is sometimes beneficial to reserve energy of any kinds for more important priorities. “Settling for less” actively informs the universe that you are willing to hold back. There is wiggle room for improvement in both areas, but good enough allows you to move forward while settling for less prevents you from doing so.

Now, I will say, depending on the situations at hand, constant rejection will mandate you to look at yourself in the mirror. This looks like self-awareness and accountability (example: is there something that you need to work on, whether it be building your resume or the way you present yourself to the world around you?). One of the best ways to understand this is to request feedback or be open to it. More often than not, constructive criticism is given to you because they want to see you succeed.

We should all live as if we already have our best life possible. There’s no reason to be so stingy with our money and let it rot in our bank accounts. Let’s smile at strangers and give people compliments because you never know if your kindness could transform their day, let alone their life. After all, you are your best investment, and you shouldn’t live as if you would reject yourself too.