There are many realities we need to grip with–those that are possibilities waiting to happen as well as others that we have dealt with while clenching an iron fist. Some of these realities are much more challenging to mentally digest depending on the traumas we face and how much weight of self-worth we place on these realities. For many of us, the reality of being fat-shamed is extremely laborious to mentally cope with. It can take several weeks, months, even years to overcome.
The first time I was ever called fat never even used the word “fat” in the first place. They simply said, “You shouldn’t wear that–your body isn’t fit enough”. The second time wasn’t in English–the tone of their voice instigated it like the way one would spread butter on toast, planting pockets of cholesterol in each crevice of the bread slice even though we can’t see the cholesterol bonds without a microscope. Recently, it happened again in a dream. My particular culture is viciously and brutally terse when it comes to physical evaluation of someone–they can be the most gratifying but also most destructive in attitude. Subjectively, I wasn’t fat in any of those moments, but to others, I most certainly could have appeared fat. That is the most colossal issue of this topic–nobody can agree on a definition of the adjective “fat”. Does it classify those who are overweight and up, or is it strictly anyone who’s obese? How about someone who fits into a size 4 who just so happens to be wearing a shirt that fits only a 00-sized person and the attire is so constrictive that they appear ten pounds heavier? Alternatively, do we simply look at one or two physical characteristics, such as a larger belly, a double chin, touching thighs, and/or some armpit bulge, and with those in the equation, we have a fat person?
Partially, I blame myself for manifesting the most recent call-out. Early on in my health journey, I was incredibly judgmental of anyone who held a tray of fries less than ten feet away from me and tried to deduct how much some of my classmates weighed–guys and girls alike (h’yeah, as if I could quantify correctly). Perhaps subconsciously, I wanted others to guess how much I weighed to see if they could guess as low of a number as I’d hope for, but this is no longer the case. It’s more crucial for everyone else to try and quantify how much my character is worth. I plan on treating others the same way.
Thanks to social media, we are surrounded by self-proclaimed health coaches and physique judges everywhere, and they have become more ruthless than ever. When you end up being called fat, it hurts like hell. You want to cut off your excess body weight with your hands when they’re held like scissors in that very instant. Sure, you can choose to make healthier choices, but there is still a chance someone will fat shame you along the way, which can suck just as much, if not more, because while you are working towards your goal, you still aren’t good enough for some. Moreover, you can’t always cut these people out of your life, either, because they may mean well or they provide you with survival necessities. Sometimes it’s simply an issue of physiological health and “fat” was just the word that came to mind.
By any chance, if there is any advice you should take away from this topic, it’s to care for yourself, inside and out. Please do not turn to extremes such as starvation, purging, or laxatives. Please do not continue any habits that are objectively unhealthy associated with excess body fat, such as chugging a jumbo bottle of soda every night or never working out. But also, you do not have to take any fat-shamers’ comments to heart. Calling yourself a detrimental name in the guise of another person is like drinking poison out of a wine glass. A product’s exterior does not change its contents. Instead of saying, “They’re right, I am fat“, you can start off with, “They call me fat and all, but I’m more than just that. I can work on my health, but I don’t need to be defined by how much I appear to weigh in front of other people.”
Lastly, if you happen to be one of those people who feel entitled to comment on others’ weights and call someone a “corpulent pig” or just any kind of derogatory name pertaining to body size…you seem to be projecting. This doesn’t mean you are a fat cow or anything of that sort, but you’re casting off this personal fear or hatred you have against your own physical insecurities because you know very well you are more than capable of looking larger and weighing heavier than you do right now. The absolute least you can do is to not publicize these thoughts. The most you can do is to mind your own f*cking business and get a hobby.
Have you ever experienced fat shaming firsthand?