In continuation of my previous post recapping my birthday, this publication encompasses why exactly my 22nd birthday was drastically different from my 21st birthday. I spoke about this on Instagram, but we will dive much more into specifics on the series of events.
As iterated in the caption, I needed a certain type of celebration comprising of numerous energy exchanges. Before the time of my 21st birthday, I recently went through a break up and needed to experience my old state of being again–the self that was incredibly vibrant, carefree, and energized for any day. This person was no longer part of my life and I had no reason to invite them back in. Instead, the people that would be invited for my birthday would be those who always have had my back since the first day I met each of them. They were all present–even if it were just a few minutes–bringing their positive energy, even some gifts through homemade food (like a pumpkin filled with spaghetti or peanut butter banana brittle!), alcohol, and much more. The whole party was a form of stimulation and receiving the exact energy I needed where I wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.
Fast forward a year later and I am completely over almost everything. All I want is to sleep two extra hours at night, the power of teleportation, and the ability to just install some kind of camera in my brain to capture everything I see through my eyes. I am ridden with cortisol from studying and meeting deadlines. The best adjectives to describe my overall state of being are exhausted, homesick, and stressed. Additionally, I needed to recover from a small skin injury from waxing (great…just great). All I wanted was to be left alone for most of the day and a good time period to relax–no sleep deprivation here! That’s exactly what I received as well: delicious homemade vegan meals, downtime, and productivity. I barely spent any money, unlike my high-budget 21st birthday, walked in the rain, and wore clothes that could pass on as pajamas.
In retrospect, there are no regrets. I recognize that birthdays, despite being holy in our own lives, are not of utmost priority to other people. Though I personally do not mind providing my compassion and appreciation towards other people, I also know my priorities. We all need to ace our finals, pass our classes, work in our jobs, graduate on time, and so forth. My celebrations do not define anyone else’s life–there’s no reason to be a birthdayzilla if I wouldn’t want someone else to treat me like that and if I had no time to even act that way. Yes, my 22nd birthday may have proceeded as any other day of the week, but each day is unique in its own way–just not such an over-the-top celebration that would make heads turn from hundreds of feet away, and I don’t need it to be that way.
For this upcoming winter break, I plan on commemorating my birthday through one little task, whether enjoying a slice of chocolate vegan keto cake, binging on Queer Eye, or indulging in a more elaborate skincare routine. I still love walking all around Los Angeles, working out, and completing my regular daily tasks, but why not do something out of the ordinary? Can you classify this as celebrating my birthday month? Perhaps, but not as obnoxiously as others…thankfully. *winks*
Happy Birthday (month) to me! I’m twenty two, finally!