Apples don’t fall far from the tree and sometimes, if you’re unlucky, you’ll receive a bad one (or two). So. More Halo Top ice cream. What is new. I am already WAY ahead of trying all the current dairy free flavors of Halo Top, I am FAR FAR FAR behind in reviewing them. Seriously, there’s supposed to be two additional parts after this segment until I have to wait for Halo Top to release more dairy free varieties.
To be honest, I’m pretty downhearted that this review is even published. Not that I would neglect honesty, but truth is, I don’t like sharing negativity towards products of companies that I absolutely love. Halo Top has always been one of my newly beloved brands because of their new dairy free varieties. I am generally a lot kinder and more soft-spoken on my Instagram because it’s easier to navigate and more directly laid out than my blog. Plus, I elaborate a lot more when I dislike anything. My posts can afford that space.
With that being said, nobody’s perfect, not even Halo Top. Thus, I have to be brutally straightforward with these next two flavors: birthday cake and chocolate covered banana. Sorry for being so ice cold.
Talk about the unpredictable kid. You know those products, people, or anything really, that just seems like a daunting gamble where you don’t know what you’ll get? To me, Birthday cake is pretty much that one flavor in Halo Top that people either love to death or hate to the core. If anything, the only positive about this flavor is the nutritional profile. Its range is in the lower zone of all Halo Top ice creams, so I can only be certain that that’s why the taste quality was barely existent.
Despite the fact I said that the ice cream’s quality was almost non-existent, I sort of lied at that part. It’s not that this ice cream tastes trashy. It tastes boring. When you bite into birthday cake, you feel like a whole new person, as if you have officially solidified your transition into a new year. If I were to receive this ice cream not knowing what the flavor was, I honestly would classify it as a low-grade vanilla (not like the vanilla maple where you can see the vanilla beans) with faint hints of sprinkles. I will say that birthday cake is generally a challenging flavor to work with, but it would be nice to have at least added some cake crumbles or even more vanilla into the ice cream.
Texture-wise, it’s cakey. Otherwise, it crumbles easily and doesn’t scoop as nicely as some of the higher calorie pints. What disappointed me the most was that the toppings overpowered the ice cream immensely. I enjoyed the cookie crumbles, cashews, and pumpkin seeds ten times more than the Halo Top, which served as a canvas rather than a main.
CHOCOLATE COVERED BANANA
Monkey see, monkey do. Then again, monkeys are not allowed to have chocolate, so a monkey could not have this flavor, hence that would be irrelevant. ANYWAYS, like I kept iterating in my previous reviews, I was not enthused on trying this flavor. Banana-flavored ANYTHING tasted completely nasty to me. Only pure bananas sufficed my banana cravings (with the exception of banana bread). One day, I finally pulled myself to purchase a pint.
Nutritionally speaking, the macros and calorie count are standard. Not the lowest, not the highest. My thoughts expected this flavor to taste at least decent enough for me to want to finish it, but probably to never purchase it again.
Upon taking a bite, I knew I was absolutely right. Let’s be fair: for its flavor profile, as a chocolate covered banana ice cream, it hits the nail right on the head. The banana aroma is STRONG and the chocolate swirls are rich and creamy. The ice cream itself does not have a smooth feel and has a rockier consistency. I ended up finishing the ice cream, but I didn’t have that cognitive satisfaction where I knew I enjoyed my meal. There was no need to reach for more food to compensate, but my tastebuds rated this a 6/10. Enough to finish it, but not enough to do so a second time.
PROS AND CONS
See my first review of Halo Top ice cream for a full breakdown on pros and cons.
While these two flavors were the most massive let-downs of the bunch, I doubt that these will be the worst dairy free flavors of ALL TIME. I’d assume that Halo Top will release more non-dairy ice creams that may taste worse in regards to sensory quality. But anyways, I definitely do not regret trying these varieties and I still love this company immensely for its integration of vegan-friendly pints!