Right now at this moment, I turn twenty years-old. Wow, I would have lived two entire decades! It feels unreal to be this far in my lifetime, even though life lives on and on, both in the world above and the afterlife.

Given that I’ll be celebrating the ish out of my birthday today, I’ve decided to compile a list of twenty personal truths, ranging from superficial to very, very deep-leveled. They don’t necessarily have to do with health and fitness, but they are about me and are connected to wellness and living the highest quality life. Without further ado, here are the truths–I hope you can relate to some!

1. It is extremely challenging for me to talk about politics with someone of a different party. In a way, it’s why I rarely socialize with some of my older relatives.

2. As a vegan, I still love looking at pastries that aren’t plant-based or friendly for my lifestyle. But it’s because I don’t see the animal products. I only see the dough and the sugary goodness.

3. Every now and then, I will actually NOT eat the entire batch of a recipe. I’m working on it.

4. Strangely, oils and added sugars in packaged products don’t freak me out. They only freak me out in recipes or in restaurant-prepared meals.

5. Last month, my mind fell into an extremely dark place for the fifth time in months. I still haven’t sought counseling, because something inside of me believes that it’s not a priority.

6. Body dysmorphia still gets to me. Sometimes I wish I could have a more prominent thigh gap and rib cage. You have no idea how ashamed I feel of these desires.

7. My friends play a huge role in how I talk, study, eat, manage my time, write, think, believe, perceive, and sleep. Literally. Some of my friends are up all night and I end up sleeping in as late as they do on the weekends.

8. Money is a strong motive for me to accomplish many of my goals.

9. When I look back at old pictures, I miss the body I had a year ago. Not necessarily the number on the scale, but just the physical build.

10. Never have I ever been in a serious romantic relationship. I would like to, mainly because I want a new experience to grow from, I want to find another companion, and in a way, I want someone else to love who I am because I tend to feel insecure every now and then.

11. Sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds are taking over my life. Seriously. Now, I love including sunflower seed butter and pumpkin seeds on top of EVERYTHING.

12. I suck at quitting. You have no idea how long I can put up with an unfulfilling job and/or class. This can work in my favor and also work completely against me.

13. Past experiences have hindered me from taking chances, especially in trying new things, relationships, and saying certain things.

14. One day, I want to meet up with a bunch of other bloggers and/or YouTubers to chat about anything and everything!

15. Leaving anything left on my plate is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have eaten three pounds of Japanese sweet potatoes in one sitting, and I felt so full by the time I had half a pound left, but I pushed myself past my satiety limits to finish it all. I actually didn’t feel too sick afterwards, and I would rather be over-fed than waste food, which is beyond problematic in this country.

16. Age, physical disease, and physical trauma frighten me more than death.

17. By January 2018, I want to track macros only 3-4 times a week rather than 6-7 times a week. By 2020, I want to eliminate tracking all together.

18. Just like many, I have an inner fatty. Before I die, I want to try eating a dozen fresh vegan donuts, a whole pint of vanilla soy milk ice cream, an entire pizza, a bag of tortilla chips with a tub of guacamole, a jar of sunflower seed butter, and a box of vegan cookies. Might as well attempt the 10,000 calorie challenge (again).

19. At the very back of my mind, I don’t really quite know what I want to do with my life. My desires might change, my values might change, and my perception of the society around me might change in a way that will impact my career choices.

20. My blog has a VERY special project coming up next year. Here’s a hint.

Happy 20th birthday to me!