Honestly, I never expected that I’d publish such a project like this. However, I was inspired by a few self-discovery videos to post probably my most personal and vulnerable YouTube video on my channel.
Initially, I was actually very excited to begin. I found the song, I collected my Instagram photos and video footage, but I also needed to go through my old desktop Mac for older photos/videos of me. And I will be the first to say that it was such a tough, heartbreaking process going through my past photos and footage of my darkest days because I had to relive those terrible moments again and again. Photo after photo I’d feel myself tearing up.
As I started to edit the video piece by piece, I eventually realized how well my struggles fit into the evolution of my blog and my character. Those memories, as painful as they are, are so meaningful and important to my journey. I never would have participated in musical theater if I could do sports and if I already had friends at my middle school. I never would have made my Instagram and my blog if I didn’t struggle with weight problems. Now that I’ve published the video, it’s a reminder that everything truly happens for a reason.
I didn’t post the video to show that I’m something special–I really am not. I posted it because it was an idea that I was afraid of but needed to nurture nevertheless. I’m so glad I did. People may run away from their fears and hope they disappear. But instead, I try to make peace so that I know I don’t have to fear anymore. It’s no longer a fear, but it’s just a distant memory. I hope you enjoy the video and you resonate with it in some way, because that is really my main goal for the video–to connect and not to show off. If I can motivate someone to change their lifestyle and better themselves, then I’ve already done my part. ❤