Tuesday Thoughts: My Mind After Overeating

Mind: Cassie. Cassie. Cassie. Look at me. Look right here in my eyes at the mirror. That’s right. We need to talk.

What in the hell was THAT?! Did you not pay attention to yourself or were you just being an idiot? Did you want to gain weight overnight? It was basically like you were a vacuum sucking up everything at the dinner table tonight. I eyed you the entire time and there was no part ever in the meal where there wasn’t something in your mouth. It was absolutely disgusting. There was tomato sauce on your chin, kale in your teeth, your plate was all slobbery and don’t even get me started on your napkin (which you pretty much abused to its core). You looked like a pig snorting all of its food in its face.

Look at yourself now. That stomach just hangs like a sand bag. Stomach told you it needed more food and now it’s giving you cramps because it wants to toy with you. You should have listened to me and stop at plate two. You’re a fat, pitiful, and gluttonous human being and you’re supposed to be a role model for actual healthy eating. I’m not going to allow you to eat dessert tomorrow–if you screw up again, for the rest of the week! You better go to bed tonight thinking about everything you’ve done wrong and make sure that this NEVER happens again or else you’ll have to deal with me.

To be honest, my mind isn’t always like this whenever I tend to overdo it with the eating. However, there are many instances when it is this destructive. I hate bloating and overeating all in themselves because they are both physically painful. That night, I had stomach cramps that lasted for almost half an hour, my stomach stretched as far as if I was 40 weeks pregnant, I felt really tired, I could barely walk, and my mind basically moved as quick as a snail’s. Let alone, the mental damage that is inflicted after the binging episode goes way beyond all that.

Because I have such an internal locus of control, I put a lot of the blame of certain mishaps on myself, even if they’re not necessarily in my control. In many cases of overeating, I always assume that it’s 100% my fault, and in most cases, it reflects something that I’m doing wrong outside of my overeating episodes. The problem is how horribly I punish myself mentally and emotionally, because it will only lead me to repeat those episodes and degrade my self-esteem.

Just because you self-destruct yourself with your mind after binging or overeating does not mean you have an eating disorder. It’s perfectly normal to feel guilty and ashamed of overeating, but if it’s to the point where you’re dictating your happiness based on how much you eat and what you eat, all alongside you going out of your way to compensate for it such as purging through vomiting or exercise, then you may have a tendency towards an eating disorder.

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Therefore, if you are dealing with overeating…

  • The first thing that you should do is be selfish and allow yourself to feel guilty. People will disagree me when I say this, but I believe that you have to experience these emotions in order to recall the pain from overeating. You have to endure some sort of punishment to understand not to repeat a behavior–it’s plain psychology.
  • Secondly, you have to forgive yourself. This is probably the hardest step for me, personally, because I tend to hold a grudge, I hold high expectations of myself, I have a really sharp memory and I am extremely sensitive to harm. But we have to understand that slip-ups are inevitable. Nobody is perfect and if we were all perfect then we would be boring. We would never grow. We wouldn’t learn anything new. If you don’t allow yourself to forgive yourself, then you are only manifesting this toxic relationship within you that will only radiate on the outside and lead you to harm those you love.
  • Third, find a way to express this pain. Talk to someone, find an online support community where you can privately message another person, call a friend, write in a journal, even made an audio or video log and just vent. I personally like writing down how a binge episode went, what I ate, how I felt and leave an opening for an action plan. Sometimes I text someone or I even talk to a family member for advice. The most important thing is that you have to be honest, because if you are, you get the most helpful advice. Don’t be afraid either–it’s hard, but you will never know how supportive people can be if you don’t try.
  • The fourth part of the healing process, which is pretty much the beef of the process, is constructing a game plan to prevent overeating. While I did say before that overeating is natural, it doesn’t mean it’s unavoidable. Plans will vary; you may have to reassess how much you are eating, what you are eating, how much water you’re drinking, how you’re handling stress, or even if overeating is part of an emotional pain that you have to address by itself. It may mean that you’ll have to eat more nutrient dense foods, eat more food in general, sleep more, de-stress, or even give up a trigger food for a while until you stop craving it.
  • Lastly, you must must MUST love yourself regardless. Start by being grateful of the simple things and work your way up. Remember the reason why you started this journey and why you chose to live the healthy lifestyle you do today. Know that you are modeling something that so many people strive to do but cannot do so due to many obstacles, and that you have so many unique qualities that the world needs. You cannot be loved if you don’t love yourself first. You are just as if not more capable of making positive changes as destructing others.

Mind: Hi, Cassie. Remember what I said the other day about how you’re such a fatty pig who can’t control herself? Well, I would like to sincerely apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it at all and was just overcome by stress. I just want to say that I love you and I cannot think of anyone kinder, stronger and lovelier than you. I hope you can forgive me and you can accept me as a companion rather than an enemy.

I really hope that these tips help any of you guys who struggle with overeating frequently, especially with binge eating disorder, emotional eating, stress eating, or if you don’t really know where to begin in your health journey and you just find yourself eating everything in sight. This by no means should be substitution for professional help, but this is just my advice coming from my experience with this issue.


One thought on “Tuesday Thoughts: My Mind After Overeating

  1. I think this is some great advice! And I do actually agree with your first tip. I think remembering how you felt emotionally after you overate is a good deterrent from doing it again. For me, I know that remembering how I physically felt is also a good lesson. For example, over the summer I had a terrible stomach ache after eating ~15 medjool dates in a day and that definitely taught me that I need to eat them in moderation.

    Like

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