Let me give you a big disclaimer before I get into the goods: I am in no way hating on other people and trying to be rude. In fact, I think an article about people I feel sorry for at the gym would be worse because I impose unnecessary pity! Believe ir or not, I find these type of people to be somewhat amusing. It’s that type of amusing where you chuckle but then start ripping your hair out at the same time. Face it though, it’s kind of a given fact that when we go to the gym we anticipate certain kinds of people to be there, and we really don’t want to see them. There are tons of annoying goers, but here are the basic five for beginners to watch out for, and for us gym rats to agree upon…
The Sweat Stainer: Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was taught in kindergarten that we were supposed to clean up our messes. ALL of them. Let me tell you that this person skipped kindergarten! I don’t know how many times I’ve lifted a 5-lb dumbbell covered in sweat! I would say about twenty-five………hundred. How gross is that?! Perspiration is nice and all to know that you’re working hard, but it leaves this unpleasant stickiness and dampness on equipment! I’m sorry, but I don’t think the person who constructed this elliptical machine meant for the handles to smell like rotten sour pits.
The Gym Bunny: Talk about VAIN. She probably spends about 45 minutes at the gym total- 15 on the treadmill or on the yoga mat and then twice that amount of time to capture the perfect mirror selfie, and an additional five minutes to wipe off the sweat and reapply her makeup (that is, if it’s actually necessary!).
Um, excusez-moi, but I have some dumbbells to lift!
The Gym Bunny can be found wearing anything short and tight, mostly booty shorts and tanks with logos reading “JUST SQUAT” or “CARDIO QUEEN” to wear this facade that she doesn’t workout for image reasons. Her favorite post-workout places to go are either the mall or Starbucks. Girl, if you want to act like a gym fanatic, at least do some research and try to act like you know what you’re doing. That skinny latte will do nothing for your progress except add some extra junk to your thighs.
Which I’d kind of like to see happen.
Oh and I forgot: a gym bunny doesn’t have to be a girl. I’ve witnessed some male gym bunnies who are just as bothersome.
The Self-Called Trainer: TBH, I think this person is a bit misunderstood because sometimes you don’t really know if he or she means well or is just insecure and wants to look like he/she knows it all when it comes to exercise. Unless if the person has a kind personality and looks like a legit trainer, it’s probably the latter. Either way depending on the mood you’re in it can be really helpful or bitterly annoying.
On the outside you’re like:
How you feel:
The Creep: Don’t tell me that you’ve never heard of this person. At least one time in the total amount of trips we all make to the gym, we will run into at least one creep. And even if you’ve never been to the gym you can only imagine you’ll definitely encounter one. We’d normally think of an old man with this freaky stare, awkward smile, who makes sure he’s in the same room as you or peeks in every couple minutes or so to make sure you’re still there. Creeps can be anyone, really!
I’ve ran into female creeps who peek over at my exercise and tile their heads to the side to check something about me–I don’t even want to know what’s up. I understand I’m on the journey of looking like a masterpiece and all, but really, will you just give me some space?
I wouldn’t be peeking over one’s treadmill, either. That type of person bugs the heck out of me too. I mean, really? Fitness is a competition against yourself and no one else!
The Judges: Or judge, I could say. They look at you like something’s bothering them or as if you’re insane. Sure, my “wiggle froggy” move looks absolutely weird, but I wouldn’t even be performing it if it weren’t effective. But if I’m just lifting some 5-lbers and someone shoots me a dirty look, then yes, there’s no logic to that. First of all, the gym is not a freaking beauty pageant. If I want to come to the gym with purple unicorn-pattered sweatpants with a band tee, I definitely will. Who said I came here to impress you? Clearly I have business to do and if judging others is what you do best than that ain’t my problem.
Whelp, that pretty much concludes the top five types of people I dread the most when I go to the gym. The bad news is that we will encounter all of these people some time out of the many trips we take but don’t let these folks prevent you from going to the gym. So hope you enjoyed the lovely gifs I have here and let me know in the comments if you can relate or if I forgot any more annoying people at the gym! For now, all we can do is to find the amusement in their quirks! Smile at them! Or at least try.